Spoiler: This happens.
You’re a fearless Eastern European man and you will not be stopped by prudence! You deserve to ride any slide, no matter what obstructions the city has put in your way because, damnit, they made that slide, and you need to slide it!
The struggle to the top is a long and wearisome slog, but the rewards, should they come, will be all the glory for all the Internet to see! The only humiliation is the failure to try!!!
And also…that. That was pretty embarrassing, too.